SDM Result

The more time went on after I took SDM in the spring, the more I was sure I had passed.  I told everyone – bosses, coworkers, friends, anyone who would listen – that while I still have to wait for results to be released, I was sure I had passed.  I was planning to go to the FAC in Seattle, already thinking about what books I should read on the plane and what activities I should do in the off hours.  I was ready to go off into the sunset into a study-free life…

So you know how this story ends, right?

My number wasn’t on the list.

While I knew I had to wait for official results, as mentioned above, I was sure I had passed.  Even now (grades have not been released yet) I have no idea how I didn’t pass.  I’ll review the exam in detail at some point once the answers are released, and hopefully I can make some sense of it.

The interesting thing as far as this blog goes though, is that this was a total gut-punch.  I’m not going to say my world came crashing down, but I was about as devastated as I get while still functioning.  This is maybe the first real setback as far as this blog is concerned.  While I have failed exams before, they were always exams that I was prepared to have failed, and it wasn’t a huge disappointment.

Looking back to my exam wrap up actually helped me deal with failing.  While I had become really confident of passing in the interim, I had forgotten just how difficult my studying in the spring session was, and how I had a sick kid with me on 3 of my 5 study days before the exam.  While those are by no means excuses, they at least serve to remind me that passing was by no means a lock before I took the exam.

I am still pretty upset.  I’m not upset at anything specific, I think it is just more the fact that in my mind I was done, and this is a pretty big setback.  I have to get into the studying groove again, and figure out how to get myself through the whole process and work to ensure a pass.  I REALLY didn’t think I was going to have to do that, so I’m still adjusting to the disappointment.

I imagine most of those who are taking exams and will eventually read this will come to a point like this in their exam-taking journey.  Hopefully seeing that it happens to a lot of people can be some comfort, and perhaps I’ll be able to blog a little bit more this time around to provide some perspective on how I am adjusting to the setback.

Maybe I should think of this like a concert…  The band went off the stage, but we’re coming back out for one more encore, which will include a couple of our greatest hits!  Ok, that is a little bit of stretch, but let’s go with it for now.

I think grades will come out later today, so I’ll provide some kind of update when I have more information.